So, today, I went to the mall and sold two autographed copies of my book When Hell Freezes Over. Now, all I need to do is have a book signing so that more people can buy copies of my book. I have no idea when I would have the signing other than it would have to be on a weekend since I'm too busy with school and too exhausted during the week to go anywhere. I also don't know where to have it. Oh well, I'll figure that out when I have more time.
Two books sold. I really need to have more confidence in my writing. I get really, really nervous at the idea of people I know (well, not friends, but people I know enough to say hi and chat with whenever I see them) reading my writing.
I mean, it comes and goes in phases. I get really confident in my writing, feel really great about what I've written. Then I read it and compare it to some really talented authors (or someone else reads it and compares me unfavorably to an author that doesn't even write in the same genre that I do). Then my confidence is shaken and I get worried. Then I start asking myself: Will they like it? Will they hate it? What will they say about it? Why did I let them buy a copy?
Then I think about the good reviews my book's gotten so far and those pesky worries, fears, and insecurities are buried and my confidence returns again, spurring me on to continue working on Fanged & Dangerous, the second book of the C.L.A.M.S. series.
I think all writers go through this, this up and down rollercoaster of insecurity and pride, elation and worry. No matter how famous, how many books published and sold, it's still possible to go through all these feelings, though some of the more well-known and publicized authors have more experience dealing with these feelings since they've been writing longer and have had more books published.
The one thing that everyone needs to remember is that some people will buy the book, read it, and love it while others will hate it and both groups will air their feelings about it on the internet. Of course, another factor to remember is that you can't judge the author based on one work. An author's style can evolve, can change because the author is always growing, always learning, always improving.
For example, I've been writing since about age eight or nine. Very few people have ever seen some of my earlier writings and I intend to keep it that way. Even things I've written at eleven and fourteen are kept away from prying eyes because my writing wasn't as developed as it is now.
Even now, I can see a steady improvement in my writing, as is the case of all novels that I've written for NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo. November 2009 was the first NaNoWriMo novel I wrote which is still currently unfinished and over sixty thousand words. It is also drastically in need of editing and will very likely remain unpublished. That was a novel that I wrote to prove to myself I could, though I will admit that I like the plot, the world I created, and the characters so I might eventually revisit it.
November 2010 saw the second novel, which was finished at just over fifty thousand words, though it could really stand to be longer. It was going to be part of a trilogy and had a good plot, far too many characters, and took place in a different time period than what I am used to writing. It was also desperately in need of editing and will not be seen by anyone until I've improved it, though I might return to it.
August 2011, the first Camp NaNoWriMo and the time I wrote When Hell Freezes Over. This one received editing, though it could stand some more. It reads very differently from anything written before due to the improvement between November and then.
November 2011 saw the fourth novel (and so far the last NaNoWriMo win). This one is over fifty thousand words and nowhere near completed. The plot was good (and evolving), the characters were interesting and multi-faceted with backstories and hidden depths, and the writing showed improvement, even as I wrote.
So, yeah, that was really long. Anyway, authors shouldn't be judged based solely on one book since authors, like artists, are always evolving and improving.
